Grits & Eggs

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"the day we all dread"

May 04, 2005~7:36 p.m.

I appologize for not being around. I'm reading, but just not journaling. I'm mainly counting down the days until summer starts for me. As of now, it is 12 days plus 2 post days.
We went to my in laws this past weekend. I cooked dinner Friday night for everyone as a m other's day gift to my MIL. Everyone raved about it. It was pretty good. DH did great with the grilling part of it.
I am going to do the same dinner for my mom this coming Sunday. I've decided that I will go watch my SS class that morning (I am with the babies) but after that, I will come home. I have a very hard time on Mother's Day or any Baby Dedication day. And this Sunday will be both! I don't want to have to handle it, nor struggle with tears. So I will come home, finish dinner and serve MY mom that day. It will be my last Mother's Day without a child to hold in my arms. Last year was bitter sweet as I had two little girls in my arms. We even had them dedicated on that day. But both the girls were not mine and soon they were to be taken from my arms. The whole day was just too bittersweet knowing it might not be permanent. And it wasn't.
In a way, I would like to go and hear the message, but on the other hand, I don't even want to fool with it. Next year, hopefully I can make it, as by then, I will have a little girl in my arms who is really our's to hold.
And it doesn't help that we had a baby sh)wer at work today. I tried to lay low.

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