Grits & Eggs

Grits & Eggs

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"a little relief and some other thougths"
February 23, 2004~11:27 p.m.

I'm feeling better about tomorrow. I talked to the person who will take them to visit each week. She is real nice and told me that because Wed. is church day, that I should not have to have it on that day. She will change it to Mon. She didn't even wait to ask the B.M., she is just going to change it. I like this lady! She said that is interferring with our church time and we should not have to have it on that day. Great! God has already answered prayers in her coming into this.
She also told me not to worry about tomorrow. That unless there is some sort of fluke miracle on the BM's part, they will still be with us. She said that actually if they were to go to another family member, it would take at least a week or more to get home studies complete. And that in her recomendations, the only family member she would even recomend is Sister's paternal grandparents and I have no idea whether she even wants her or would want to care for her long term. And since both children would not be together, I doubt that would happen. It would be traumatic to remove her from her baby sister.
So I am feeling better. She said with all that she and her husband have on the BP, the kids will be in f0ster c@re for at least the 6 months recommended. I know there is more she is not telling me and can't tell me, but I assume that the whole family has histories and that they are very disfunctional. I just feel so at peace with this lady and she has put my fears to ease. I needed God to send her phone call tonight to help me and give me some optomism.
So we are just going to go about our lives as normal tomorrow. I still will wait for that call. My friend is going to c0urt to hear everything and report back to me. I have permission for her to go. I am so grateful for her and that she will do anything for us to help these girls. She told me if she wins the lottery, she is giving us the money we need to ad0pt.
Oh speaking of ad0pting...I finally got to watch the whole SATC tonight. I cried when Harry came in and showed Charlotte the picture of their little girl. That is so what I want. To know, really know, that we have a baby of our own. Money is really about everything when you can not conceive naturally. If you don't have the money to use a private agency and have to resort to the public facilities like we have had to, you never know what will happen months or years down the road. At least with an agency, you give them the money and know eventually a baby will match with you. I wish we had that reassurance with these girls. I just have to keep remembering that for now, we are giving them what they need. They are fulfilling our need to parent at this time as well. I just can never have that feeling of permenancy right now. I can't get them dedicated in church yet with our name, Can't make too many long term or permenant decisions. Never knowing what each week will hold.

Yesterday ~*~ Tomorrow

~*~Did ya miss somethin'?~*~

clothes - March 13, 2009
day off - February 16, 2009
don't hurt - February 09, 2009
rain - August 23, 2008
catching up - February 16, 2008

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